UNTOLD HAS A CLOSER LOOK AT THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G. FIVE, PART II
Posted by Stephen
Reading time: 10 minutes
Hey, wait a minute? We’ve been preaching about relaxing and not obsessing about the 'Big Five.' But didn't you also see 5 pictures we took ourselves with those five in all their glory in it? Yup. Guilty. We did see them all. Sue us. The difference is we didn't go on an all-consuming search for them. Most of the time, we were just absorbing the incredible wildlife around us. And then, suddenly, we saw a leopard gazing at us high up in a tree or caught a glimpse of a rhino in the distance. There really is a big difference. There is a distinction between must-see and fabulous if we see them, not the end of the world if we don't. We enjoyed every single minute of our safaris. And seeing every animal on that illustrious and list, was just a nice bonus.
But we are boys. And boys will be boys. The competitive, 'my list is bigger than yours'-aspect, is alluring. Also, keep in mind that we have spent an absurd amount of time out here in the Tanzanian savannah. Yes, we are indeed chuffed we saw the entire list. Separating us from the mere mortals who didn't. Those massive failures who went on a magnificent safari and only saw countless gnus, zebras, giraffes, cheetahs, crocodiles, vultures, warthogs, wild dogs, hyenas, and ten trillion other beautiful beasts. Damned those dirty rotten scoundrels on 'The Big Five'-list for ruining your trip by categorically refusing to pose for your social media post that was guaranteed to make everyone jealous and would catapult you to eternal interwebs fame. Shall we go on? Or do you get our point? Good.
But hey, since human nature is what it is and since a sense of purpose in the form of lists can be something to hang on to, we have a nice encore to finish this journal entry with. To still the O.C.D. hunger of some of you. To appease those who absolutely want to tick boxes. Spreading the odds and augmenting your chances of completing lists. All jokes aside, it is true that this 'gamification' can pique the curiosity of younger audiences. Looking for animals instead of Pokemons, kind of. So, without further ado, we give you a list of other lists to look out for when you're on a safari.
First of all, 'The Little Five.' This is actually really clever. The animals on this list are the small equivalent and the namesakes of the ones in the 'Big Five' list. They are the ant lion (not an ant, not a lion, but looks a bit like a dragonfly), the elephant shrew (a small rodent with a long nose), the leopard tortoise, the buffalo weaver and the rhino beetle. None of them are scarce, and there is a mix of mammals, reptiles, birds, and insects. So, for some of those, you'll have to put your binoculars away and start staring at the ground. This list is actually an excellent example of how guides want us to look at the bigger picture. By looking at the smaller animals too.
Another list is 'The Ugly Five.' Well, first of all: rude! As you might expect, this list is about animals that fell down the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and we don't necessarily agree with this body shaming and biased view on beauty. The members of this club are, hyena, wildebeest, vulture, warthog and the marabou stork. You will see plenty of them, guaranteed, since apparently, they are not only repulsive but also are hideously bad at playing hide and seek. You'll have gathered that we are not big fans of this insulting. In our book 'A Taste of Tanzania,' we actually defend the poor, 'ugly' hyena. Which is vilified everywhere but is actually a very fascinating animal. Even if at first glance, it doesn't look like a majestic lion with its manes flowing in slo-mo in the wind. Like in some shampoo commercial.
For the last three lists, we're going to up the ante a little bit. Whereas the animals in the two lists above are sometimes easy to spot, the ones that follow next are a whole lot less.
'The Shy Five.' The name is a give-away, a pretty obvious hint. These five are very difficult to spot. Because they are timid and most of all because most of them only come out at night. The notoriously shy animals on this list are, the meerkat, the aardvark, the porcupine, the aardwolf and the bat-eared fox. Good luck, catching a glimpse of these. But if you do see all of 'The Shy Five,' high five!
The next list is 'The Impossible Five.' Also very aptly named by the committee for creating safari bingo lists. Because they are quite simply impossible to spot. We have to admit that most of these animals are not indigenous to Tanzania, so that is the first hurdle. And a big one. These impossible animals are the aardvark, the pangolin (a kind of an armored anteater), the Cape Mountain leopard (smaller and even more elusive than other African leopards, and living in South Africa). Also, on the list, the riverine rabbit, one of the most endangered mammals in the world, hiding out in South-Africa too. And last but not least, the wild white lion. The w-w-w-what? A totally white lion that is living in the wild! And not together with some campy magician in Las Vegas. Sorry to burst your bubble, this animal is not residing in Tanzania either. This list was just because we are total geeks and nerds.
Moving on to the final list. 'The Big Seven.' Well, this is just lazy. They just took the original 'Big Five' and added two ginormous animals to it. They're big, alright. The two enormous additions are, the great white shark and the southern right whale. Don't get us wrong, these are spectacular animals. But what would be genuinely sensational and really astonishing, is spotting a humongous whale in The Serengeti. This list is just an F.Y.I.
Especially the last two lists seem to make our point. Clever marketing ploys to attract tourists, but maybe distracting you from a lot of unusual fauna and flora certainly worth your undivided attention too. So, instead of going on a wild goose chase, so to speak, let the big, shy, ugly and what not five be. And enjoy that elegant giraffe strutting its stuff. Marvel at the skies and look at the crazy amount of gorgeous birds. Watch a small dung beetle rolling a little ball of, well, shit around. Discover many fascinating facts about 'wait for me bushes' or whistling acacia trees that work together with ants. Take a little time to observe those ugly mofos of hyenas. Watch big, bulky hippos perform a water ballet in their water. And so on. And so on. There are far more than five species in Tanzania. Relax and enjoy the scenery and the magnificent wilderness around you. Forget 'The Big Five.' Take five.